My Doctor’s a Jerk

I still don’t want to believe it but the third test came back positive…again.  I’ve been in denial for some time and it’s really not doing me any good.  I live everyday in pain, although you would never know it.  I don’t complain much except to my husband and I don’t think even he understands the pain I have on a daily basis because he can’t feel it or experience it.  People don’t know and do they really even care unless it happens to them?  So I keep a positive attitude and keep it to myself.

I knew I had issues with arthritis but I didn’t expect to hear rheumatoid arthritis.  Nobody wants to deal with that on an everyday basis.  Certainly not me,  I’ve never had any health concerns in my life.  I’ll be 50 in 6 months and any other time I’ve been to a doctor they would be amazed when I told them I’m not on any type of medicine.

I’m pretty sure me and my primary doctor have broken up.  Last time I seen him, I questioned his recommendations, apparently doctors don’t like that.  I told him I didn’t like how doctors just prescribe pills without trying to get to the real problem.  They just put a bandage on the symptoms.  He was obviously upset with me and proceeded to tell me that I’ve been on the internet too much.  Yeah, please excuse me if I want to learn as much as I can about this condition jerk!  I had questions and he didn’t like that.  I wanted to be informed of all my options.  He just wanted me to abide by his advice, in his words…”I’ve been a doctor for almost 40 years, I’m an expert at what I do, if you don’t want my advice why are you here?  Stop wasting my time if you’re not going to take my recommendations”.  He threw the prescription down on the counter and said take it or don’t, I don’t really care and he stomped out of the room.   Sounds likes we broke up right??  I think can do better, he didn’t deserve me anyway!

My rheumatologist has me on Plaquenil but I forgot to ask him about taking Naproxen with it so when I was at my primary doctors I asked him if they could be taken together with out complications.  His response, “I didn’t prescribe it, I can’t answer that, ask your rhuematologist”.  Okay now I know he’s just being an a** to me because of the previous visit.  So my options are to also be a pain in the a** (which my husband tells me I’m exceptional at) and keep challenging/testing him or fire him.  I’ll probably fire him and find a new doctor who knows how to act like a decent human being rather than pretending to have a God complex.

You don’t know what rheumatoid arthritis is??  Here are some highlights…my immune system is attacking tissues and joints.  Chronic pain and inflammation of my joints especially in the hands and feet.  Fatigue, fever and weakness.  Occasionally tingling and numbness, oh and it can affect internal organs as well.  I’m not one to play the victim and I’m certainly not looking for sympathy.  This is just my way of finally accepting it and becoming friends with it.  I need to find the lighter side of this and introduce Rheumy to my friends Hot and Flash.  The three of them should get along quite well.  Ahhhh, the joys of aging!


36 thoughts on “My Doctor’s a Jerk

  1. People just don’t understand that this is not an old people’s illness and one that can be disregarded. I started to write my blog and realised how this affecting young people like you and teenagers too. Thanks for sharing with us

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You are right many Doctors are jerks. I’m lucky to have fairly good ones. My friend was not. She had a lump on her breast, her doctor said it was nothing. She had a baby was at her doctor a lot, kept asking, Doctor still said it was nothing. She had her kid, got other opinions of other doctors and the lump was oozing and her doctor would do nothing.

    She prescribed her birth control, hormones which you guessed it, made her cancer worse as it’s hormone fed. She was finally, diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer and two-weeks later with stage 4 a year ago. The cancer spread to her chest, lymphoids, and her liver. She’s been fighting it a year at thirty years old with a two-year old boy. They are sueing the doctor, they kept records and the doctor would never let her go and get an MRI or whatever it is they get to see tumours.

    She kept asking, the answer was always it’s fine because they thought her too young. She’s fighting the cancer now more naturally in Mexico. It’s expensive, but she has great doctors there and a great doctor at home now from Ireland.

    Turns out the doctor she had, had many complaints against her before. Not to mention, she would not physically touch my friend to observe or diagnose the initial lump. What kind of examination is that?

    I’m sorry you have arthritis and you have every right to question your doctor. Often, you have to or you won’t get what you need done. I don’t want anyone to end up like my friend, whose cancer got worse and worse because her doctor thought nothing of it. So, even for arthritis p, if it’s something with consequences you have to live it, you deserve to question and say what you like. Best of luck!

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Thanks so much. She’s doing well right now, it’s a not a sprint, it’s a marathon, she says. Hope you get the help you need, and the right prescriptions for your arthritis 🙂


  3. Aimee — No sympathy but a lot of empathy. Aging is not for sissies. As to you Dr., I’ll relate a story about why I changed Drs. when I was just a little older than you, I made the decision to get a new Dr., not because mine was a jerk, or incompetent, quite the contrary, he was very competent, compassionate and to this day remains a dear friend. I made the change because I wanted someone that would be around and still practicing when I got older. Watching my parents make changes in Drs. when they were quite old convinced me that I didn’t want to break in a new one at 90. So if yours has been practicing 40 year that makes him at least 65, probably older. You will certainly live longer than he will practice so now is as good a time as any to find yourself a nice young one, who you really like, understands your issues and will be around for you for years and maybe even the rest of your life. As Rheumatology is a subspecialty of Internal Medicine you might be well advised to look there for a new Dr. He or she can refer all the GYN out on an as needed basis since those issues will likely be minor in comparison to the autoimmune concerns.

    As to your drug interaction question. Asking your Rheumatologist is certainly good advice as your regular Dr. probably didn’t know the answer, but a better answer might have been ask your Pharmacist. Today most of them (younger ones) are Pharm Ds and highly trained in modern drugs and drug interaction. They are a great resource and free at that. If they don’t know the answer, they have computer systems that will pull the answer in a Nano-second.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Very sorry to hear about your health issues. My daughter was diagnosed with RA about 3 years ago, and now they are saying OOPS WE REALLY THINK ITS LUPUS! I know that they can be very similar, but come on! Can’t we get it right? Anyway, I’m praying for you. I know you will do everything you can to take care of yourself and get the answers that YOU need!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. That’s a pretty big oops, geesh. I guess that’s why I wanted the test repeated 3 times…to be 100% sure it’s RA. I’ll definitely ask my RA doc about it next time I see him and do some research on that as well. I hope your daughter is doing good.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Sorry to hear about the RA. You are totally right to research and gain all the knowledge you can. My family GP actively encourages us to do so, from official sites with evidence based research. Having additional knowledge empowers us in our self care. You know you better than anyone. I think some Doctors don’t like that we go down the non biomedical route to care. Good luck with your research and perhaps a search for a new doctor 😀

    Liked by 3 people

  6. So sorry to hear this. My husband has had Rheumatoid Arthritis for many years and takes a huge stack of pills every day. I know he is in lots of pain sometimes, but he never complains. He finds that keeping active helps, he is not the sort to sit still. I hope you get some better advice and find a sympathetic doctor!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Why is it so hard to find a doctor who doesn’t just throw pills at a problem?? I also have some problems with arthritis (though, not R.A.), and I do know that staying active helps keep the general pain at bay. Maybe try yoga, or swimming – low impact, but great for your body to build strength! Also not sure if I’ve mentioned the Whole 30 before, but a lot of people find success on a diet that aims to reduce inflammation in your body. Might be worth checking out, as well! Good luck!

    Liked by 3 people

  8. Sorry to hear about this jerk of a doctor. I can definitely understand that what you’re going thru since my wife has lupus and deals with pain and swelling daily. Time to switch doctors as we went from doctor to doctor until we finally found an endocrinologist. The best! Have you thought about seeing one of those?

    Liked by 1 person

  9. So sorry for your pain and I empathize with your physician problems.

    Unfortunately we often have to be our own advocate in seeking out the solutions to our medical problems. The good news is there are kind and considerate healthcare professionals out there. See if you rheumatologist can recommend someone or ask a fellow patient at the rheumatology office who their primary care physician is. I have found that recommendations from other patients is the best way to find a good doctor.

    I am going to pray for healing and peace in your situation.

    Liked by 3 people

  10. Wow, what an arrogant, heartless person! Of course you have questions and he needs to answer them, you pay his bills not just for prescriptions but for his knowledge, advice, patience and understanding. I hope you find someone who will treat you with the respect you deserve. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  11. If your Primary isn’t on your side, you’re right, it’s time to find a new doc. Sometimes we cut a little slack to the self-absorbed specialists, because, we hope, they are so absorbed in knowing everything about one special condition, that they don’t have time to work on a thoughtful and supportive bedside manner. But, one of the main jobs of a primary care physician is to help be an advocate for a patient and to help the patient be smarter about their own general health … and that means supporting a patient who is pro-active and questioning. If a doc doesn’t appreciate that you have questions and that you’ve been researching your condition … it’s time for the big perma-break up.

    Keep fighting … RA is a tough and painful condition (which you already know), but good overall health and an active lifestyle gives you a leg up on other patients. And, much progress has been made in its treatment. I have a few RA clients who have dramatically improved lives with recent developments in treatment and medications. Good vibes coming through the ether to you …

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Break up with that doctor NOW! You have the absolute right to ask questions, to get a second third and fourth opinion! It is after all YOUR body. Any doc that comes across as self righteous and dogmatic at hat one doesn’t deserve to have an intelligent patient like you! My hubby (the RN) just said “tell her to dump that asshole”……….

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Break up with him, he profits off of your business, he should start acting like it. And as far as your medication question you can always call a pharmacist, they are experts at it😜! Seriously though, I’ve had a few doctors mix meds that shouldn’t and my pharmacist caught it, so maybe your jerk Doctor didn’t even know the answer

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Maybe you’re right, maybe his 40 yrs of expertise is failing him and he didn’t have an answer. I did ask the pharmacist when I picked up the mess and he said it’s perfectly fine.


  14. I am so sorry to hear that and yes keep researching! You are your own best advocate and it is your right as a patient to receive answers to ALL questions …. and answers given respectfully. If you are looking for a non traditional something to try for joint relief I have a friend who diffuses frankincense essential oil. Just make sure it is a quality and 100% pure product. This friend has found some relief using it.

    Liked by 1 person

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