How to Love a Woman

I hear quite often that men don’t understand women and they don’t know what we want.  It’s not really that difficult, whatever you did in the beginning to win her…just keep doing that.

 Women know that some men put more effort into the chase, some do it to win her heart and others do it for the thrill of the chase.  Women are the ones who have to try to figure out the difference.  Most of the articles I’ve read on the topic seem to be written by men.  Sooo we have men giving other men advice on how to love and understand a woman, doesn’t seem to make sense.  Men if you’re really trying to figure it out in an effort to win her heart then seek the advice of women.

Here’s what I think, I believe that men really do want to have the love of a great woman. I know you do, even if you don’t want to admit it, even if you’ve been hurt so bad you claim to have given up.

So you won her heart and you got her to fall in love with you, are you willing to keep putting in the same amount of effort to make that last?  If not then stop reading and break it off with her, seriously don’t waste her time or yours.  Your job now is to not mess it up.

Women are born nurturer’s.  We take care of the mind, body and spirit of others…our family.  We often give all we have to our family and have very little left for ourselves.  Don’t believe me?  Watch her.  She’s the one who will go without to make sure you have what you want.  She’s probably working a full-time job, taking care of the home, the kids, the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the errands and event planning and all she asked you to do was put your dirty laundry in the basket.

Here’s what she wants:

  1. She wants to feel connected to you emotionally and physically.  I’m not talking about sex.  Talk to her, listen to her, give her your full attention.  Have shared hobbies and experiences, do things together and not just the stuff you like but do things she likes. Yeah ya may have to sit through something you find boring because she sits through all your boring stuff.   If you’ll be her best friend, she’ll be your best lover.  Plan some dates like you use to do, don’t leave it all on her to plan.  Touch her and not just her boobs or ass, hold her hand, kiss her head, place your hand on her knee or the small of her back.
  2.  She wants to feel important and valued.  She is not your child, she’s your equal so treat her like it.  She’s smart and has sage advice if you’ll ask and listen.  Don’t make all the decisions by yourself and don’t leave her out of important discussions. Put her first because she almost always puts you before herself.
  3. She wants to have fun and laugh.  Often women are the serious ones in an effort to make sure responsibilities are met, and not because they don’t want to be silly.  Make her laugh but don’t make her the butt of your jokes.  Help her get back in touch with her silly side if you see she’s becoming to serious or stressed…help her.
  4. Chivalry is not dead.  Walk beside her not in front of her.  Hold the door for her rather than walking through without her. Chivalry is about respect and good manners.  Remember if you won’t treat her like a lady someone else is waiting to.
  5. Surprise her occasionally.  Help her out before she has to ask you, plan a romantic dinner, bring home flowers, write her a poem.  Whatever it is that would catch her off guard, in a good way, do it.

So are you just sitting around waiting for her to make all the first moves?  She’s probably already doing that, you just need to match her effort.  It really isn’t that difficult, at least not nearly as difficult as some make it out to be.  Here’s how I would sum up relationships…it’s spending your life with your best friend who you get to have sex with.

Women have hormones that fluctuate monthly, you already know this, get over it.  If you’ve been with her for a while you know her cycle and you know when it’s coming on.  Maybe she wants to be alone, maybe she wants extra attention, figure it out and give it to her but whatever you do, DO NOT try to make her feel bad about something she has no control over.

My last piece of advice – Be careful with your decisions, words and actions so you never have to be responsible for her pain.

Disclaimer:  I’m not a relationship coach.  This by no way represents all women or all men.  I know someone somewhere will be offended by this.  Try to see the humor in it.  It’s okay to stare at your wife’s boobs when talking to her just don’t stare at any others in her company.  This topic was brought to you by the letter W and the number 1.


26 thoughts on “How to Love a Woman

  1. I’m thinking deeply here. I have been the idiot who has tried the concept of making things special. It sounds good but the fly in the ointment is you get to a point when you are furniture. You need to do more to keep the thought there. I’ll argue the diminishing returns kills the thought of flowers and candy. Once in awhile, the chase is the best part. Most often it takes two to fall face first into oblivion

    Liked by 1 person

    1. In my opinion, what most people want in a relationship is to feel loved and appreciated. Sometimes we try to show this to our partner based on what we would like for ourselves. Example: You may like receiving compliments to achieve that feeling from someone so you try to give compliments to them in an attempt to show your appreciation. But that’s not what they need to achieve the same feeling, so your efforts are somewhat wasted energy. Does that make sense? I don’t agree that you have to keep doing more but you do have to give what they need. When you know what your woman needs to feel loved it should be easy to start incorporating that into the relationship. (side note: if you have someone who isn’t able to articulate what they need to feel loved, you will most likely always strike out)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I think the words high maintenance explain my experience. Articulated needs are one thing and I actually appreciate someone saying “hey this is a problem “. It’s the festering if you allow someone to fail to meet needs


      2. Maybe my experience is in high maintenance women. People who prefer drama to living. I’m attracted to and attract women with issues somehow. Untold needs are a problem


  2. You may think of it humorous but i think it’s fact. Yeah and she being your best friend which you get to have sex with, i say yes everyone should aim to become best friends before sex partners. That’s the key to true love cause in that case you will fall in love with that person before you think of sex so therefore that’s when you are truly able to say we are making love. I like this piece. Keep going Mandi, your work is wonderful, bless you.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I was convinced by keep doing what you did to win her. I think that should mean being on his (my) best behavior, using courtesy in treating her–generally, acting as if the chase is always on. I tend not to use the words win and chase when speaking of relationships, but I’m glad that you do. Because they connect with us.

    Your comments were re-posted by Mandi ( I enjoy her insight, and now I can enjoy yours. And grow from both.

    Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Once again you nailed it! I love the post. It is something that we need to remember, even if we have been married a long time. Romance and chivalry never go out of style. Blessings to you. And, thanks for the post.

    Liked by 1 person

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