My new friends. I don’t really like them, they’re quite annoying and they are not welcome but they don’t care, they show up anyway without any type of notice. They’re so inconsiderate.
How do you tell them their presence is not welcome? Seriously, this has been going on for a year now and I’m sick of them already. I’ve heard they could stay around for 5-10 years. Doesn’t that sound more like a prison sentence? Oh you’ve hit menopause, wonderful, you get to be completely uncomfortable for the next 5-10 years until the hormonal transition is complete. Good luck with that. My doctors advice…read this book and have your husband read it. He’ll probably need it more than you. What?? Aren’t you suppose to be helping me rather than preparing my husband? Geez, doctors!
Oh I remember when it started. It had me a bit freaked out. Imagine this, 48 years old and no period for 3 months, yikes! Fast forward, okay now it has been 5 months and still nothing. What’s going on? I know I’m not pregnant (tubal done after second child). Oh my gosh, oh my gosh…oh. my. gosh! One of my neighbors is a nurse and tells me I need to see a doctor very soon because I’m too young to be starting menopause. Crap, now my anxiety is sky rocketing. I can’t tell my husband because I don’t want him to think of me as old. Only old ladies start menopause and in my head I’m still twenty-five. So what do I do? Cry, yep, cry because what else am I going to do? I go to the doctor after putting it off for another six months and he confirms that I am indeed in menopause. Fan-freakin-tastic! I’m old.
HOT and FLASH didn’t show up right away, they were sneaky about it. I’m the type of woman who was always cold…always. When it was 85F outside, I would need a light blanket to sit on the patio, crazy right? Those two sneaky friends showed up as WARM and FLASH, now that was nice, because I finally feel like a normal person who isn’t freezing all the time. So far, other than having an ugly cry fest in front of my husband to let him know I was old… doctors orders, it’s going fairly smoothly. I can do this and no one is going to immediately notice I’m old. I’ll get a few more highlights to disguise it. Apparently, rationality slowly fades away too. I get my highlights, I’m feeling good, no more periods woo-hoo! And then it happens.
Hot and Flash show up but I didn’t know it was them. I’m thinking its just very warm in the ice rink. I’m fanning myself, taking off layers of clothes and my friends are looking at me like I just lost my mind. Maybe I did, I don’t know. I get the raised eyebrows and the “Are you okay?” My response: “I think they have the heater on too high, they can cut that off or at least turn it down”. My friend: “They don’t have the heat on, it’s freezing in here. Are you sure everything is okay?” Then it hits me…my sneaky new friends have turned on me. They fooled me alright and we have been at odds ever since, I’m not happy with them. Oh and lately another new friend has been showing up with Hot and Flash…INSOMNIA. Hot and Flash show up anytime they feel like it, it’s never convenient for me. It’s all about them.
Insomnia isn’t much better. As soon as I snuggle into bed and get comfy, with my pillow in the perfect position and the blankets just right…there’s Insomnia waiting for me. I wish I had on off switch. These three are really irritating and I really wish they would leave me alone but somehow I have to learn how to play nice with them even if it is unwillingly.
P.S. How do my highlights look?