Hot and Flash

My new friends.  I don’t really like them, they’re quite annoying and they are not welcome but they don’t care, they show up anyway without any type of notice.  They’re so inconsiderate.


How do you tell them their presence is not welcome?  Seriously, this has been going on for a year now and I’m sick of them already.  I’ve heard they could stay around for 5-10 years.  Doesn’t that sound more like a prison sentence?  Oh you’ve hit menopause, wonderful, you get to be completely uncomfortable for the next 5-10 years until the hormonal transition is complete.  Good luck with that.  My doctors advice…read this book and have your husband read it.  He’ll probably need it more than you.  What??  Aren’t you suppose to be helping me rather than preparing my husband?  Geez, doctors!

Oh I remember when it started.  It had me a bit freaked out.  Imagine this, 48 years old and no period for 3 months, yikes!  Fast forward, okay now it has been 5 months and still nothing.  What’s going on?  I know I’m not pregnant (tubal done after second child).  Oh my gosh, oh my gosh…oh. my. gosh!  One of my neighbors is a nurse and tells me I need to see a doctor very soon because I’m too young to be starting menopause. Crap, now my anxiety is sky rocketing.  I can’t tell my husband because I don’t want him to think of me as old.  Only old ladies start menopause and in my head I’m still twenty-five.  So what do I do?  Cry, yep, cry because what else am I going to do?  I go to the doctor after putting it off for another six months and he confirms that I am indeed in menopause.  Fan-freakin-tastic!  I’m old.

HOT and FLASH didn’t show up right away, they were sneaky about it.  I’m the type of woman who was always cold…always.  When it was 85F outside, I would need a light blanket to sit on the patio, crazy right?  Those two sneaky friends showed up as WARM and FLASH, now that was nice, because I finally feel like a normal person who isn’t freezing all the time.  So far, other than having an ugly cry fest in front of my husband to let him know I was old… doctors orders, it’s going fairly smoothly.  I can do this and no one is going to immediately notice I’m old.  I’ll get a few more highlights to disguise it.  Apparently, rationality slowly fades away too.  I get my highlights, I’m feeling good, no more periods woo-hoo!  And then it happens.

Hot and Flash show up but I didn’t know it was them.  I’m  thinking its just very warm in the ice rink.  I’m fanning myself, taking off layers of clothes and my friends are looking at me like I just lost my mind.  Maybe I did, I don’t know.  I get the raised eyebrows and the “Are you okay?”  My response:  “I think they have the heater on too high, they can cut that off or at least turn it down”.  My friend: “They don’t have the heat on, it’s freezing in here.  Are you sure everything is okay?”  Then it hits me…my sneaky new friends have turned on me.  They fooled me alright and we have been at odds ever since, I’m not happy with them.  Oh and lately another new friend has been showing up with Hot and Flash…INSOMNIA.  Hot and Flash show up anytime they feel like it, it’s never convenient for me.  It’s all about them.

Insomnia isn’t much better.  As soon as I snuggle into bed and get comfy,  with my pillow in the perfect position and the blankets just right…there’s Insomnia waiting for me.  I wish I had on off switch.   These three are really irritating and I really wish they would leave me alone but somehow I have to learn how to play nice with them even if it is unwillingly.

P.S.  How do my highlights look?



43 thoughts on “Hot and Flash

  1. 48 is too young? Try 39 or 40; that’s when my grandma, cousin, sister, and I all joined the club. Never too early to start a fun new game in our family! I’m glad you posted about menopause. I’ve been thinking more and more about the ‘taboo’ of menopause and menstruation (that one’s a whole different problem).

    After about 5 or 6 years of flashing, things have ramped up for me. In between hot flashes, I can turn into a shivering ice queen. Ridiculously cold, wrapped in a blanket, then the heat starts again. Just yesterday, friends witnessed my face turning red, a slick glow covering my face, and my glasses fogging. The sympathy is about the only positive.

    Add insult to injury, I never chose to make use of my plumbing for reproductive purposes, so all of this seems a bit silly and uncalled for.

    Word to the wise: in the middle of the night, flip your pillow over. There’s a cool side underneath. You won’t fall asleep, but you’ll feel better for a moment or two.

    Your highlights are fantastic!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh boy, 39-40, now that’s young. Are you telling me it could get worse before it gets better?? (Big sigh). Hopefully more people will become comfortable talking about a natural process that effects all women and those that love them. Thanks for the support and hope you stop back soon.


  2. OMG, I live with my 85-year-old dad. We are at hormonal opposites. I run around my house in sundresses or shorts and tank tops year round, because of stupid Hot and Flash. Ugh. Sometimes I wait for him to go to bed, and then I turn on the air conditioner on full blast. Ha ha.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, but I suppose that’s the trade off for being able to make another human inside of you. I wish it wasn’t such a taboo subject to talk about and that men would be more understanding.


  3. The one thing I’ve learned as a husband of 36 years is that being a woman is hard work. Karen went through the same when she young. And like you, she was always cold. Until she was hot. When she had insomnia, I had insomnia because she would toss and turn. Karen swears drinking cold water with lots of ice helped her. I could always tell when she was in the thick of it because her face would turn red and she would start fanning herself. Hang in there Nene. This too shall pass?

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I have no idea if you are “into” essential oils. I have found that putting drops of Peppermint EO into a small glass spray bottle and fill with distilled water feels wonderful when spritzed on. Also you smell really nice! win-win.


    1. Haha, well welcome to the club! Always nice to have a new member to share with! I always felt like this was a subject not to be discussed openly and occasionally seems to correlate with husbands leaving their wives for a younger model. Hmmm???

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Tell your husband that I am here for him., Been there, done that and his support role is not to be minimized. It is one of life’s little adventures for every couple that makes it that far. I loved your post, the humor, sarcasm and prose were wonderful.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Insomnia sucks and people say “You can text me, I’m always up”. But I can’t do that, I kinda like the quiet and would feel bad if I woke them up. Oh well there’s always reading and old movies. And thanks for the compliment!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. This is very familiar. I have been through all this, and I’m on the other side. I plan to celebrate every birthday, walk a mile a day when I can, and enjoy life. If it means eat less, that is fine. We all go through changes in life. I believe going through without a headache is wonderful. Mine have stopped. I guess when I gave up sweets, the headaches went away. I indulge some now, but not like I used to do. Life is short. Live it with celebration. Life is to live, and for me to live is Christ. To die is to go see Him.

    Liked by 3 people


        Liked by 1 person

  6. Did you suddenly wake up one morning and see a little marshamallowy soft poof where your toned stomach once lived? Because I’d put up with the hot and the flash and the sleeplessness if I could just fit in my blue jeans again without having to shwoozle my body around to make it somehow fit inside the jeans that had never let me down and always fit … always … before this menopausal crap happened. And a good night’s sleep sounds awfully nice … and so long ago. Sigh.

    Hang in there, sister … we menopausal babes gotta stick together!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Haha,that sounds just great! I can´t wait to experience the same thing. Though with me it is exactly the other way round. I used to sweat like mad for the last 10 years, at work everybody was wearing thick sweaters and scarfes and I was running around in a t-shirt and still sweat dripping down my face. Since January when I started my low-carb- diet, all that changed. My feet are always freezing, and I am constantly cold.
    So I can´t wait for these two friends to come and join me at the most inopportune moments 😉
    P.S. the highlights look great lol.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. yes, but I hate wearing too many clothes, especially socks, I used to go the whole winter without wearing socks at home, these days I have to put them on or my feet never warm up at all… It takes me ages to warm up even in bed… 😦

        Liked by 1 person

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