A few things I suck at…

 

People like to point out our flaws, don’t they?!  So this is a very raw and honest post about my vulnerabilities.

image

I have them, we all do, some people help protect them and others want to expose them.  I feel like if I’m the one who brings my flaws to light then others will be able to say, “Hey me too!” And then we can be life long friends and live happily ever after! I’ve learned how to be okay with these misgivings and even laugh at myself because of them.  Okay, (deep breath….exhale sloooowly) here are the big ones:

1) Life: I suck at life. I’m not famous, athletic, can’t sing or dance. I haven’t change any laws, cured cancer or motivated any type of change in the world.  So sometimes I have those moments where I wonder; UGH…What am I doing with my life and when will I figure it out?  What’s my purpose for existing?  I should being doing something more than laundry, right? You don’t get awards for washing someone’s dirty underwear, phfff!  I compare myself to Mother Teresa or Ghandi- now there are some people who changed things!

2) Marriage: I suck at this.  Hello, I’ve been divorced twice and we all know what the common denominator is, me!! Everyday I wake up thinking is today the day he’s going to leave and everyday I’m thankful he doesn’t.  Marriage is not for selfish people, it is about your spouse. It’s the most fragile relationship we ever have and a lot of times it’s the last one we tend to take care of. Yeah, sometimes I’m selfish or want to cuddle while he’s watching the game (apparently a big no-no.)  I probably ask too many questions (again during a game) but maybe he just watches too many games!  I wonder at times if I’m doing enough to make his life easier and what exactly does he see in me that keeps him loving me. Whatever it is,  I’m glad he does.

image

3) Parenting: Okay my kids are adults (26 and 22) and on their own.  I’m positive I have contributed to everything that is wrong with them and caused them to consider therapy.  I think of myself as the World’s Okayest Mom.  Did I yell too much, not enough, was I too strict, maybe to lenient? Did the divorce damage them irrevocably?   All I ever wanted to be was that super mom, you know that mom, the cool mom, she’s does everything perfectly.   I have always felt that I should’ve been better at “momming.” Is it awful that I occasionally dropped them off at school in my bathrobe?!

This should probably be an on going post because there are soooo many more but you know what? It’s okay that I suck at some things, I laugh, I learn, I keep going and take life with a grain of salt.  No matter what I do there will always be people who judge me. And I kinda like that my life is imperfect, it makes for much better memories, don’t you agree?

Advertisements

28 thoughts on “A few things I suck at…

  1. “I wonder at times if I’m doing enough to make his life easier and what exactly does he see in me that keeps him loving me.”

    I think about that ALL the time! Especially when things are going rough for me (which is also, coincidentally, all the time), I wonder why my fiance chose me, and why every day he chooses me. I question myself all the time – and always have – but I can’t imagine being any other way. This kind of self reflection is what makes us strive to be better versions of ourselves.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Self reflection- improving yourself so you can be whole for others. How can we be a blessing to those around us while still taking care of ourselves? Your response made me stop and think, for quite sometime before replying ☺, and I’m glad it did. I love all the comments and seeing how others interpret from their own perspective! I think it takes maturity to want to change (improve) ourself instead wanting the other person to change for us. We can all become better versions, or maybe I should say truer versions, of ourself if wanted enough. Life is messy and then it’s great and then it sucks and then it’s fabulous and then it’s hard and then it’s smooth; and so on and so on until the end of our time. We can learn to magnify the good and down play the rough. I’m sorry your in a rough patch temporarily but hang in there. Please keep coming back, your one comment has helped me more than you will know!

      Like

  2. I really enjoyed reading this, and I agree, we all have so much to criticize about ourselves. But I think we shouldn´t forget about the things we are good at either, Critics are always quick to point out our faults, and most of them come from our families and friends, that´s why we take it to heart so much. And because of that we sometimes forget that it is important to like ourselves and even feel good about ourselves, otherwise we won´t find the strength to try and get better every day. And who wants to be perfect anyway?!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh my goodness, you hit the nail right on the head! Many of our critics are loved ones and sometimes we are the worst critic of ourselves. Many people have a difficult time liking themselves let alone loving themselves. So I found a saying and can’t remember who said it but it goes like this…If you can’t love yourself won’t that make it harder for someone else to?…I think it could be applied in several situations and I think we attract what we feel. I for one am quite content being perfectly imperfect. Thank you for your wonderful insight and please come back soon!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. “We can take just so much guilt; beyond that it becomes something that cripples you…. Or you succumb to it and you cannot function anymore, and that is to no one’s advantage. The healthy thing is to forgive yourself–to acknowledge your faults, yes, to protect yourself against them as best you can, but finally to stop beating yourself over the head with them.”–Anthony Brandt You’ll see this soon in my weekly posting of “stuff”; but it is apropos here now.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Your article is indeed true. I also do think that I’m not enough doing good things or achieving dreams like my friends or other people did, just like the expression “neighbor yard is always look better than ours”. But I start to look differently, I start to write again, I believe that everyone went through the same things, up and down in life in different way, and you can’t compare to one from another. When you said you’re suck at marriage because you’ve been divorced twice, some people might think that you’re suck at that, but some people also might thing (including me), what a courage, it is not an easy thing to decide, and not a lot of women have a courage to do so, the thing is you have a courage to decide what you believe is the best for your happiness and for your love ones too.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for that. The grass is greener on the other side of the fence, yes many people may think that, but if you take care to water your own lawn your grass will be the greenest and loveliest of all! Always be good to yourself.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Thanks for voicing what many people think of themselves, but haven’t the courage to admit. There’s no yardstick for measuring how we fare with life, so there’s no pass or fail mark. In the end we just try to give our best in all we do. Sounds to me like there’s a lot you should be proud of – and I know you are. But it’s good and brave to acknowledge our insecurities or inner fears too, as you’ve just shown. Bravo!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you and you’re right, most people have the best of intentions!! When someone is purposely critical of us, we have the ability to shut them down. First would be by not engaging with them but if you must, never be shameful of your past, own it, love it and explain what it taught you. We always get better results when we give people a piece of our heart rather than a piece of our mind.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. We all fail at life because we all die in the end.
    That’s a very obtrusive comment (from me, not you) but I hope it gets my point across. There’s nothing to fail in life, life is a learning process, with no ‘intrinsic’ end goal beyond ‘social values’. What I mean from this, is there’s nothing more to life than what you make of it.
    If you think life is about children and you have children, then you have succeeded. If it’s about money, and you’re poor you have failed.
    What I intend from is to demonstrate that life is what you make of it, so don’t be sad about it. Don’t label your actions failures, because if you believe them to be, then that’s what they will be.
    Smile in life, be optimistic.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Yes, exactly! No one is getting out alive and we make life choices that direct us down a certain path. It doesn’t mean your stuck there and if you see someone struggling help them out. Learn from the poor choice and make a better one next time. But more importantly learn how to laugh because your “mistakes” are nothing more than guidance points redirecting you. Thanks For the feedback Nam.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. We all try to carve a niche for us, no matter how much we don’t admit. You said that you suck at life and marriage. It’s about your life and you’re obviously the best judge of it. But think again, were you rally that bad? Come on, give a pat on your back. You may have sucked at parenting also but may be your kids (now adults) will learn from your mistakes.

    We all have our own potential and we all do something or the other for our family, society etc. It just that it may take some time. 🙂

    Like

    1. Nobody sucks at life, which is what I wanted to get across. We all have “baggage” but we also have the best of intentions. We all have insecurities that creep up out of now where from time to time, at least if we’re honest, but its best to confront them and deal with them head on. Do I really suck at life, marriage or parenting? Of course not, but I can look at past mistakes learn from them, laugh at them and help others who might be stuck in a place where I use to be. And if you can do that then you really are exceeding at life!

      Liked by 1 person

  8. There is no owner’s manual for this trip we call the real world. I will guarantee that for every thing you think you suck at, there’s a miles-long line of people wishing they’d be as good as you are at it. We screw up every single day, but the cool thing is that our screw-ups teach us how not to screw us as badly the next time! That you’re even thinking about it says a good deal about your willingness and hope to suck less. OK? And now it shall be your task to remind me of this wonderful, insightful perspective when I feel the same way!! 😊 We all do. We’re all imperfectly perfect or maybe perfectly imperfect? Thanks for a great read.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, that’s what I wanted to advocate! We all screw up and suck from time to time. We should be encouraging and lifting each other up rather than magnifying each other’s flaws.
      The people I admire are the ones who know and love their flaws. The people who pretend they don’t have any are the people I fear to trust.
      And of course I’ll remind you of the same when needed.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Aimee — Beautifully written and poignant. I pondered your last question and I agree, but would offer: the cessation of judging need to begin with oneself. This is of course a do as I say not as I do statement. I promise I will not judge you (or your writing) anymore, I’ll just enjoy you and your writing for the beauty I find in it.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I love your style of writing. This is my first time to come by, and then it was that I happened to be here. I read every word. Please be encouraged to write when you want, and keep posts like this coming. Your style is very well said, and clear.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s