Shut up…seriously

Haven’t you wanted to say that to someone who you know is just making up a story?? You hear them speaking but you can see the words, “I’m lying!”, coming right out of their mouths.  Now I’m not the kind of person who’s going to call them out but I’m certainly thinking it and secretly wishing someone else will.  Is that evil of me?

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Are you the kind of person who could do that?  If you are, we need to be friends.  I can’t do it.  I can’t even do that with my own family because I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.  I don’t want to embarrass anyone, but there is something inside me that is silently screaming, “SHUT UP!!! I don’t believe a word you are saying and neither does anyone else.”  Then my catholic conscious kicks in and tells me how rude and inconsiderate I would be for saying that so now I’m feeling guilty for even thinking those thoughts. Great, now I’m going to hell unless I go to confession.

I’m not even the one who is lying but somehow I end up in hell because they brought out the worst in me with their made up story. And why do they do it? Attention, good or bad, they want attention and I’m giving it to them! I’m being held hostage with their garbage because I don’t want to make a scene.  So what do I do?  I make up my own lie so I can get away from them, fantastic, I’m still going to hell!  How have you gotten yourself out of that kind of situation?  Seriously, I need help with it.

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36 thoughts on “Shut up…seriously

    1. That’s very insightful and probably the best thing to do. When you know someone is making up tales, you have to be careful, they could be doing it for attention or to create chaos.

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  1. We have a few sayings here in central PA (USA).
    See how you are?
    Smile & nod.
    I particularly like Rubiescorner & wendy weir’s comments above.
    Per catholicosity: Is God still speaking to yins catholics? Prayer yields answers with the truth & power Ruby speaks of. Quakers refer to it as speaking truth to power. Contemporary culture might refer to it as “calling them out.” It helps when you can speak Truth in Love. All things are possible [with god]. Am I good at it? No. I suffer from your ailments. Is there a better way? Yes. It’s up to us to seek it. My experience is that we fool ourselves into thinking we must do it alone.

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  2. I have a family member who is a pathological liar, and it is painful to think about all of the people he has hurt with his lies and bad behavior. I remember when it started way back when we were kids, and it was always for attention and approval. My relationship with him is not so close to be able to influence him, and I honestly think he is beyond the point of no return. I think he will continue to lead a life of lies and broken promises, and the best I can do is keep my distance. The other members of my family who choose to enable him are equally at fault and I can no loner feel sorry for them. I think every situation is different, but in my case, I make sure to always position myself so that no matter if his words are truth or lies, their outcome will never have an impact on my life.

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  3. Thank you for bring up this topic I was raised to have peace, and we were sent to our individual rooms if there was an argument. The fussing never stopped, and it never was totally gone. I left home many summers because home had no peace for me. I did speak up, but the person who was talking to me was continually the problem. Always critical, and trying to improve my ways. Now I am thankful. Her method was improve her any way I can..

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  4. I was almost laughing with your writing. I know exactly what you mean. I have been there many times. But there is a time when you have to SPEAK to the situation. You may not be contentious, and love to have peace, but there is a time when you must SPEAK your mind. Writing is one way to speak it, and another is to find the person, and just say what you need to say, and leave the scene. Another way is to address the problem in front of everyone at the table. Eventually you have a time to speak. Shyness, and awkwardness leaves, and in its place is boldness to speak the truth, from your heart. This is the point of victory, because you speak from your quietness. Because you held it back, the words come forth like gold, and they may be loud. That is fine Speak and don’t look back.

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      1. A SENSE OF HUMOR IS NEEDED IN THE FIELD OF WRITING. I TEND TO LAUGH, AND AT TIMES I SHOULDN’T BE LAUGHING. I THINK IT IS BETTER TO LAUGH, THAN TO CRY, OR BECOME SCARED, OR OVERCOME WITH FEARS.
        THERE IS A SONG IN MY CHILDHOOD ABOUT LAUGHING WITH THE STORM . YOU LAUGH AT THE STORM. IT ENCOURAGES BRAVERY. I SO AGREE!

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  5. It depends on my mood and how long I have been pushed by this person who is lying. If I have had enough of their bullshit I have no problem calling them out. My former boss who was an attorney used to sick me on certain clients that were completely impossible to deal with. Believe me I never had a problem with them ever again and they were nice as pie to me. I think they were actually afraid of me after that haha!
    It is hard to confront people but there are times these types of people are only impressed with people who stand up to them. Sorry to say that but it is true in my experience.

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    1. You are probably right, having the ability to stand up and say, “okay enough is enough!” Would be ideal in your situation. I’m guessing they were impossible clients who needed to be set in place. I definitely need to be seated next to you because I would love to see you in action!!

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  6. Have you noticed that sometimes people tell stories and lies and then their brain begins to believe it … so the additional problem is that calling them out for a lie only makes matters worse, because they believe it, or rationalize it, or somehow start to twist it to their own truth. My husband is my Buddha in these difficult situations … when I get frustrated with someone like that, he always reminds me that I’m using up energy fretting about what to do, and he says, “You can always just walk away.” I guess he means, we can’t fix everybody and every situation. Sometimes doing nothing is the kindest thing we can do for ourselves.

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    1. Yes, yes and yes!! That’s why sometimes I think it’s better to just walk away slowly. Isn’t that what your suppose to do when you encounter a rattlesnake? Sloooowly back away..Ummm does your husband have a blog I can follow? I could use a Buddha in my life 😊

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  7. These phonies or attention seekers are there all over the globe. No matter how much you dislike them, you have to endure the pain of having a conversation with them. Our middle class sensibilities and upbringing don’t allow us to shout on their faces. Sad but true……

    I have faced the same situation over and over. 😦

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  8. I hate this situation, I usually use the most convenient excuse that comes by to escape.
    Sometimes you’re making pole conversation, but your conversation partner is unknowingly rude or perhaps they suffer mental illness, and the conversation is nonsensical and awkward. I can only bear these situations so long, and I have often told half lies to escape.
    I feel guilty for doing so and there’s no escaping it.

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    1. You know, I didn’t even consider the other person might have a mental illness. It can be hard to tell unless they hang a sign around their neck with what type of illness they have. Either way, yes, thank you it is quite difficult to bear at times depending on my current level of patience. I’m all for joking around and having a good time but when’s it’s blatant lies, gossip or rumors I want no part of the discussion.

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  9. I disagree with just screaming shut up inside, take a few silent whooooo saaaaa’s then just politely say stop it we both know it’s a lie, now I am sure this will start a “Fire” burning but at the same time you will feel so much better, then maybe you will be get a good laugh with well it sounded good…
    Religion or not sometimes you get to the point where you have to say politely you are living in your own fantacy world…

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    1. Maybe some mindful mediation right there on the spot will help with the situation. These conversations usually are in a public space and I typically use the restroom as an excuse to get away. I’ll try the mediation next time I have to suffer through this dilemma.

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  10. You’re going to hell? Save me a seat! I have on occasion mustered up the nerve (because the behavior got to a COME ON level) to call BS. It’s hard, I always want to see only the best in others to the point that I ignore too much. You will know when you reach that point, and you will act when you feel you must. You don’t have to scream BS, but maybe you’ll begin with a whisper.

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    1. So if I put out some random, sshhhh’s without them noticing it’s me it could throw them off long enough to abandon the ridiculous story all together. That would be funny, I would definitely try try this. I do tend to ignore too much as well which probably isn’t good. Okay, okay I’ll save you a seat but I have to warn you I plan on jumping off the bus before arrival!

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  11. I have several ways of being nice and getting out of a situation; when I’m trying to end a phone conversation, I will hang up when I’m the one talking…after all, who would hang up when you, yourself is talking? Also, to change the subject, avoiding more conversation I don’t want to hear I say “well enough about me, let’s talk about you! So what do YOU think about me?” After a little awkward silence and confusion if nothing else it makes me feel better! 🙂

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  12. Hey I actually disagree with your stance that you cannot do it 🙂 You know what ..you just need to draw a thin line between affirmative and rude 🙂 So if somebody is giving you a BS and if that somebody is close to you , you can politely say ” Hey am not totally convinced with what you are saying , could you explain a little more?” or something like ” Am a little unsure about what you are saying it may not be the case ” …so its basically nothing that you cannot do it 🙂 just take a polite stand stating I am not convinced ..or am still unsure it may not be the case I will have to think about it later 😉 catholic conscious also says do not take any BS and do stand for yourself …I hope this will help you in some ways 🙂

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  13. here I think differently on this issue. if this is the situation in front of me then I won’t like to keep it to myself but I will not be rude to that person either. there are certain ways by which we can make the person feel that the topic is not of worth talking. and this can be different for different people.
    thanks for sharing your thoughts 🙂

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  14. Oh My – how I identified with this post! Not raised a catholic but with a very strong “always be polite” ethic I struggle with the same dilemma (although I don’t believe I shall go to hell for it:)
    So I really can’t help – although strangely I’ve managed to raise two kids who are never afraid to speak their own minds or call out the bullshit!

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